Learning that I have ADHD
My wife forwarded me a link to Karen Barrow’s 5/21/08 article in the New York Times‘ on-line Health Guide section. It’s people with ADHD talking about their experiences. I was almost crying with relief by about the middle of the second clip. I was diagnosed with ADHD just about ten days ago and I’m having a hard time accepting it and understanding what it means.
Growing up in the 70s and 80s, I was hyperactive. Very. My mother had me on a diet that apparently helped – no artificial colors or flavors is what we recall about it. But, as I grew older into my later teenage years and even more so when I left home, my parents influence waned and I forgot the diet. I lost track of the idea that I was a hyperactive person. I guess I assumed that was a childhood thing that I’d grown out of. But it wasn’t.
?I’m 41 now and have fought with depression, shame, and many other emotional problems all my life. I’ve always changed jobs every 18 months or so – except for a five year, hellish stint in the US Navy. I’ve left a long trail of large piles of half-finished projects, systems and tasks in my wake. My relationships – until I met my wife – have always been fractious. I don’t have friends easily – probably because I can’t sit still with them for more than a few minutes.
?Just as Robert Cimera related, it never occurred to me that I was any different, really. I just thought that I wasn’t as good at life as you all are.
I resist my diagnosis. I haven’t really accepted it yet. I don’t want to be that person that makes excuses for everything they say they can’t do because they have this disorder or that disorder. I know that’s nuts. I know it, but I can’t really get past it yet.